Excerpts from my personal journal (unedited)

2 May 2008- Six Days till graduation
Well I`ve reached the end of the road. Looking back through what I wrote in the weeks and months leading up to this end of times I think it safe to say that it has not been the easiest of experiences...With that said I am super excited to make the next step in life.
Today, when filling out a survey for graduating seniors, I was asked the question: `what is your planned occupation after college?` Without blinking an eye I put down `ADVENTURER`. While I appreciate the ability to analytically think which Holy Cross has given me, I trully feel that my real education is about to start. Within me is a desire to be a tumbleweed. I need to see the world and experience it. .. Before I will be able to set a definite course in my life I need to gain a true world perspective. I am grateful to have the unquestioned support of my family- I just hope they can cope with me me being away. I am now at the helm of my life.

8 December 2008
In two days I will be embarking on the journey that has existed only as a thought in my mind for so many months. In two days the fantasies of what I have imagined will finally meet the reality. I am on the threshold of a serious life change- change in both the practical and extrodinary. My fears are overpowered with a drive and hope to do it to the fullest. I pledge to myself, here and now, to be entirely open and aware of the opportunities. You are going into circumstances where you can be who you are with no precondition. The best part of it is that I want to go as I am now. I just need to persist to be courageous and bold, while also being calulated and smart.

10 December 2008
The adventure has finally begun. I have just taken off from Boston- headed to Miami then on to Buenos Aires. I have to admit that this last day and a half was the only time in this whole process of planning this trip that I have been nervous. I guess the feelings are only to be expected when embarking on such an adventure. This nervousness quickly becomes excitement when I think of the adventure to come...

11 December 2008
...I utterly reek of being a gringo...I need to get my spanish going. My fear of speaking has left me starving tonight. I have only had a McDonal´`s Big Mac and a peice of bread- which I later threw out because it was utterly tasteless. I am also coming to realize that I will be here for four months. I cant enjoy that time in the city. Sooner than later I will head to Patagonia country where I hope I will feel more at home.

19 December 2008
I am in love with this place. So much has happened since my last entry. The exact details I will specify in my blog, but the basic details: I met up with 3 Aussies. They turned out to be fisherman. So we hired a car for cheap and hit el Rio Limay...Today was my favorite. We had to hike down to the river, through arid snake infested ground. We climbed along the river and stalked fish. I was the only one to catch a fish today! SO HAPPY!

25 December 2008
I am sitting on a rocky beach around a lake just outside of Bariloche. My time here has been excellent. I have met so many interesting and exciting people in this quant place. Tommorow I am jumping on a bus south to El Bolson to camp. As I have passed the tho week point in my trip, I feel that I have entered a point in travel that other travelers have told me about. Its a relaxed unrushed state. While I am still mildly stressed over money matters and the need to prolong my money, each day this stress subsides.
I definitely know it is time to move on from this place. Time to meet a fresh new group of people. See some new things. Gather some more experiences. This is the nice thing about traveling- the freedom to move at will. Expand the realm of your conscience. Expand the number of friends.

28 December 2008
I am feeling very defeated today. I spent the whole morning packing my stuff, planning to camp by Rio Azul. All the supermarkets are closed, and there is no where to legally camp for free. Part of me just wants to jump on a bus and get out of El Bolson. I don`t know if its the town, the lonliness, or the adjustment to camping life- but i feel beaten up. I`m treating myself to a big lunch to try to figure it out.

New Years Eve 2008
I am spending my new years camping near the summit of Cerro Piltriquitron in El Bolson...Reading over my journal of the last year, it is nice to see some of my goals fulfilled. I am in the process of fulfilling my travel goals in Patagonia. So what do I see for this upcoming year? Well the enormity of this trip blocks the future- which is nice. Each day is what I am looking forward to figuring out.

11 January 2009
I am beginning to detect a change occuring within myself. I cannot identify what exactly has changed, but I feel like a different person than when I left the US. This change seems to be rather indifferent in terms of good or bad- its just different. Maybe its this transitory lifestyle and all the people that blur through this experience. I hope to understand what is happening as this trip continues. Or maybe it will simply be what it is.

17 January 2009
Tonights my last night in Argentina (at least for now anyway)...I hit my first stretch of bad luck today. First I burned my hand at the bus station on a radiator. The burn looks worse than it feels- which is kind of worrisome. Later in the day my iPod was destroyed in the was. So it will be a musicless trip from here on in. In spite of the things, I am remaining positive. I just hope I am not met with any additional bad luck- famous last words. But its all part of the trip...Each day is a new adventure.

26 January 2009
Enough plot, I need thought. Tonight is my last night camping in Torres del Paine- 7th night. Tommorow Sagiv and I will hike five hours to the Catamaran, then grab a bus back to Puerto Natales. While I am excited to return to civilization for a hot shower and a proper meal, it is a bitter sweet departure from Torres. This period of hard hiking has done alot for me. For one I feel that it has provided me with the spring board/ bench mark for living a healtier life...In a way I feel like I have purified myself with this treck...This period of time has also been one of continual meditation. I thought alot about family and friends; of future goals...At times it was difficult to get hold of my mind, to focus it on the present

29 January 2009
Well Im making my move north. I am in Punta Arenas waiting to grab a bus...I have 8 weeks left in South America. What do I want to achieve?
-improve my spanish
-spend time in a wine region
-go see Iguazu
-spend a week in Uruguay
-fish and hike more
While I dont wear a watch and readily stuggle to remember the date (let alone the day), time is a reocurring topic in my mind. Two months more seems long- but its relatively not. This is the first time...that I admit there is some homesickness in the back of my mind. Its not that I miss being home and that whole life. Its just the missing of people; my family, my friends. My only thoughts of home are of them. Otherwise, this is easy. I enjoy traveling immensely. I love going to new places, meeting new people. I would not say that I am an expert traveler- I am still learning- but I would say I am compatable to travel

31 January 2009
I have finally been reunited with the Atlantic- albeit through the glass of the bus window. The scene is familiar: the same true blue broken by white caps; birds diving. It is the first time I feel trully home. I wish I could go out and take in the scent of that salty air. Its funny, seeing the Atlantic again seems to answer the question: would you rather live by the ocean or the mountains. Im going to have to say the ocean.

10 February 2009
Today marks two months of my travels in South America. As the time passes more quickly, I begin to realize the constraints on this trip. I wanted to spend time in Bolivia, but due to its political climate and the fact that I am an American traveling alone, I have decided not to go. At this point, I see myself visiting Uruguay at the end of my trip. That would bring the country tally to 3. I am happy with this tho. I feel like I am `doing`Argentina and Patagonia to the fullest that I can afford with the time I have. Traveling makes time move at various speeds. Some weeks fall off the calender at a scary rate, while others drag along. This inconsistency makes my perception of the remaining time of this trip change daily. Some days I fear that I do not have enough time, other days I feel I have too much. In the end, I must pacify this subtly anxiety by enjoying the moment I am in. I look back at some of the things I have done already and it blows my mind. This experience is a true gift. Sometimes I have to say outloud to whoever I am with: `We are so lucky`

24 February 2009
Nearing the final month of this trip, my mind dances from topics. Most of the time I think about the prospect of writing this story as a book. While I enjoy my writing style, I wonder if other people do. I wonder if I have the skill to write a worthwhile book. Whether I have the ability or not, my heart is set on writing it. This trip has helped me achieve my objective of habitually writing everyday. I am looking forward to sitting down at a desk, and really making this happen.

27 February 2009´
Serious travelers often write that after a certain point they realize that the road is their home. This never appealed to me. I never wanted to get to this point, being stuck in a constant state of transition. I love my life at home- being able to see family and friends. Traveling alone, you think more about family and friends than ever in your life- its almost constant. I went on the road not to run from something, but to gain something. To bring my perspective to a new level. While much is learned about the foriegn world, much is also learned about the world you already knew.

2 March 2009
With a month remaining, I am beginning to feel worn out. I hate to admit it, but in times when I am alone (which has been alot lately), homesickness gets the better of me. I remember feeling this way nearing the end of my time in Scotland. I also remember thinking that was ridiculous to feel that way from the retrospect of my life in the states. But it is difficult all the same...I need to keep everything in perspective.This next month is a gift. I need to rally and push hard for the experience. I pledge here and now to get every last bit of meat off the bones of this experience.

26 March 2009
Six days...part of me believes it, part of me doesn´t. The part of me that ¨does¨ is tired, homesick and, in a way, disenchanted. Thats the reality side of me which admits to the everyday difficulties of travel which have accumilated over the four months, delivering a potent sense of overall exhaustion.

The part that ¨doesn´t ¨ believe is the side of me which I wish to win out. It sees the experience in its most beautiful, dare I say, profound form. Beyond the places and experiences there is the truth of fundamental accomplishment. This trip has delivered the insights and realizations that I hoped for. Most immediately, this trip has illustrated the power of an idea, along with the courage to follow through. Goals often remain just mental figments because fear inhibits them from being pursued. Yet in reality it just takes one step to make that fear a falsehood, and make any goal a possible reality.

On a personal level, I have become aware of my strengths, while also meditating on my weaknesses. I see now, more than any time before, that I am capable of anything I want. I just need to exercise the courage that I mustered for this trip. On the weakness side of things, I see what I need to change. And the change has begun.

I see myself coming even more into who I am.